My petty pleasures of 2026

As we totter by .. into the first month of 2026 .. its good to reflect on another lap around the sun .. another year passes as we get older, none the wiser.

Firstly, God help us. May he occasionally remember we exist and toss a few crumbs of mercy my way .. and yours too. As I look up to the stars, it amuses me and I can't help but whisper, "I'm just looking for small favours, sly favours, Show me that you have a great sense of humor".

Most of us have heard multiple wellbeing coaches on TED talks, self-help gurus on youtube that encourage you with pearls of wisdom. Wisdom such as "Manifestations". Now, before you think this piece is about some weird cult induced prathana like some yogis trout about .. I'm merely going to state what petitions I have before "The One before everything". Maybe you might feel like adding my requests in your daily devotionals. Mmm?

May the little pigeon on my sill belt out the full aria, throat blazzing, yet chirping in full soothingly cheerful C#, pulling my sleep self, cooing my heart to join its private sing-a-long concert, with no care beyond its supernatural divine filling of its belly with all the khubz int his land .. and its uncanny ability of pooping down on whatever select cars it wishes to decorate.

May the steam rising from my coffee, curl upwards like holy casper, smack my senses, realign the cluttered thoughts, file in those scattered bytes of ideas and just wake me up to the day's work.

May all the jalebies and gulab jamuns, all the moist unniappams and warm slurpy payasams, bestow its sweet goodness as a mouthful of bliss .. without lodging any permanent protests in my arteries nor turn my waistline into a national disaster.

May my bank suffer a momentary lapse of memory and credit my account by mistake, ten million in dollars ... and .. may the error remain undetected forever, even after I've spent it all.

May my neighbours, snore softly and rise up at dawn without their banging door chorus .. Give them peace as they hurry for their 6-5 shifts, so I may have peace to sleep way past my 200 odd wake-up alarms.

May every traffic signal turn green at my approach, morning afternoon or night, as if the whole nation had finally submitted to my new found magnificent powers.

May my bathroom scale develop such charitable tilt, always under reading by a couple of kilos .. bless its lying heart.

May my barber's hand tremble hesitantly, only on the day I secretly fancy a bowl cut .. and spare me his lectures on balding spots, receding hairlines and his ever die-hard longing to dye my white hair.

May the autocorrect on my phone stop behaving like the grammar police and finally agree to what filthy words I really meant in that friends whatsapp group.

May the apples I forgot in the fridge six months ago, stay ripe to perfection just when I open the door after that heavy mutton biriyani and mutter, "What in heavens .. Ahh more fruit salad for me!".

May that jazz blues song from Muddy Waters or B.B King .. ambush me on the radio, or my Spotify list exactly when my soul needs that gentle massage.

May every stray dog give me a friendly wag and happy grin, every street cat I approach, give me a quiet nod .. as I feed it random food on the sly.

May this cold winter continue throughout the year with no summers. Our corniche waters turning into ice that I can skate for miles.

May the fellow ahead of the queue, have no forgotten PINs .. no expired coupons .. no endless arguments .. but just pays and vanishes.

May my cellphone battery cling to that mythical 2% for hours .. nay .. days, defying all the High councils of Science.

And may a parking slot magically yawn open .. right in front of me, as if the Almighty has whispered into the asphalt, "Let this poor sod through, he grieves about this .. even before he leaves from work".

So, this year .. 2026, here's my petty indulgences, my minor rebellious chants against fate with such overflowing hope, my sudden blessings of being able to laugh at all of life's absurd attempts to empower me.

.. mmm .. And may it spare us the big tragedies and grant you .. and me .. enough small joys to keep the daily wins going.

Happy New year Working Man. Live long, sin sparingly and keep giggling till your sides hurt.